The Joys of Being a Parent
by Courtney E. Malfoy
Summary: ONE-SHOT Welcome to the life of Harry Potter, Potions Master Extraordinaire. Harry's parents died in a car crash when he was three; he has been living with his Godfather ever since. Join him in his seemingly impossible quest for the love of Severus Snape.


_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter..._

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_Joys of Being a Parent_

Harry ran.

…And I mean RAN.

How he hated those idiots!

Every year, by law of his father's will, Harry Potter had to visit Vernon Dursley, Petunia Dursley, and Dudley Dursley around Christmas. How. Lucky.

For some odd reason the idiot got a hold of a damned wand as is currently spurting out weird spells trying to kill Harry. It wasn't _HIS_ fault Ripper was accidentally apparted to the other side of the planet when he was five. It wasn't _HIS_ fault he accidentally removed the clothes of everyone at Vernon's "promotion" party when he was ten. It wasn't _HIS_ fault that he breaths. It wasn't _HIS_ fault Lily Evans Potter died and not him, I mean he was what, three?

Ah yes, the horrible car accident... You might wonder how a car accident killed the talented Lily and James Potter, Head Boy and Head Girl of their day... Well, join the party. Harry wonders how the greatest witch and wizard since Albus Dumbledore's cheese slid off of his cracker died in a car crash, daily. Even at seventeen it is a great mystery to the young man.

But, now wasn't the time for reflection, now was the time to get his arse moving and out that door before that freaking uncle of his obliterated him with that damned mini-tornado.

WHY did he always listen to Sirius and _not_ bring his wand? ...Oh yeah...

Hold on, since when can Dursley use magic?

XXXXX Somewhere out there XXXXX

"Now, now Mr. Dumbledore put that away!" a nurse scolded Albus Dumbledore as he cast a charm on the table of his retirement home. The charm was a simple (well simple for Him) "show me" spell that let him know what was going on in the world.

No, he was not crazy.

Yes, he knew how to take care of himself.

No, he could go back to Hogwarts and teach at any moment.

But he didn't want to! The war against Voldemort took too much out of him, so he's gonna just stay right here and pretend to be nuts, thank you very much. Too old, too tired.

XXXXX Back to our Hero XXXXX

"SIRIUS, LET ME IN!" Harry screamed as he reached his "Godfather's" door.

"What in the name of Merlin is going on here Harry?" a very sleepy looking Sirius asked as he began to open the door. Only to be pummeled into the bed by a very overly excited Harry Potter. "What the bloody hell Harry?"

"Vernon. Wand. Tornado. Magic?" Harry panted. Hey, a ten mile run wasn't exactly EASY in ten minutes, now was it? Now that sound impossible now doesn't it? Well, you try running with a tornado on your tail!

"..." Sirius opened the door...Only to close it again as he saw what the fuss was about. "Ooookay.. So, mind explaining this one Mr. Potter?" Sirius said with a raised eyebrow. "I told you NOT to bring your wand." Sirius grabbed his own wand and spelled the tornado away. Eh, who cares about Florida anyway?

"I. Didn't. Wand." Harry panted as he lay down on Sirius' nice and cozy bed. "Vernon, he had a wand," Harry explained once his lungs were filled with precious air.

"You're sure?"

"Y-Yes."

"Alright, stay there. I will contact Headmaster Snape and tell him what just happened. He'll take care of it I'm sure," and Sirius left the room to take care of his business. Well, he didn't have to go far since the phone was in the tiny bathroom next door. He and Harry had agreed to not move into Potter Manor until after Harry finished his last year of school. He was fine with that.

He opened the Floo line and called, "Hogwarts Headmaster's office!" and stuck his head in the fire to see a very ODD sight. Severus Snape was standing in the middle of the room, buck naked. He seemed to be reaching for a bottle of Vodka on a high shelf. Sirius got a VERY good view of the man's...well, what made a man a man. Sirius clamped a hand over his mouth to hold back the offending laughter, the show was too good to miss. Severus was rock hard for some reason; not one Sirius intended to find out as he pulled up his cockiest voice available;

"Something I should know Severus?" Sirius inquired, not even attempting to hold back his laughter this time. He and Severus had made peace after the death of Lily and James.

"What do you want you persistent imbecile?" Severus Snape hissed, no malice intended, at the still rather handsome Sirius Black. Funny, he didn't even attempt to hide his body in front of Sirius.

"Well you foul breathed Slytherin, I want you to do me a favor that's what," Sirius retorted, again with no malice.

"Do you always expect me to clean up your messes Black?" Severus replied. Sirius sneered at the fire image of Snape.

"Not mine, James' he's the one to blame for having Harry go over to that infested Muggle house. The fat one got a hold of a wand, and used it. How, I don't know, but Harry just came running and screaming home with a black tornado on his tail. Not my problem anymore, good day." And he broke the connection. He heard Harry chuckle from inside Sirius' room.

"Why don't you both get it over with and hop into a bed?" he asked with a smile.

" 'Cause, I got something better in my bed, that's why," with that said he hopped into his bed where the young green eyed man was currently laying.

"Oh," Harry purred, "and who might that be?"

"Oh, I forgot his name. Something about Perry Hotter or something like that," Sirius smirked. Harry hated that name. 'Stupid Ginny' he'd say every time.

"Stupid Ginny," he pouted. Sirius laughed. Harry growled and slapped the other Gryffindor's arm. Sirius smiled and hugged the sweating man.

"So, Perry. How're you _feeling_?" he asked coyly.

"Oh, you know, tired, out of breath. Legs're killing me. Lungs still trying to hold on to the precious air they can find, smelly," Harry said, almost as if referring to the weather.

"Well, poor London. Investing on a out-of-shape Seeker. What am I going to do with you?" Sirius said with his bark-like laugh.

"NORMALLY, training doesn't involve running ten miles wandlessly in ten minutes because there is a tornado behind the person. Also, it is a game on broomsticks. Why run anyway?" he replied with his own laugh.

"True. True. So, Mr. Hotter. What can we do to entertain ourselves this evening. Tomorrow is Christmas after all," Sirius asked casually.

"Well, I was planning to strip you down, kiss you... and then take a shower," Harry said. Earning a growl from the other man. "Honestly Sirius! What would Remus think? You dirty minded old bat you!"

"Remus would think about holding you down for me that's what. Then we'd trading positions," Sirius replied wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. Harry laughed and curled up to the "dirty old bat"

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Black, I do wish to know what the hell is going on," Severus Snape stated as he stepped through the flames, fully clothed.

"Oh, well. My Uncle pulled out a wand as soon as I arrived at his house and said some strange words, and a black tornado began chasing me. Right," Harry said, his cheeks flushing. He liked Sirius and Remus, a lot really. But he'd been in love with the headmaster for some time. He wouldn't admit it though, so he stuck with the charms and DADA teacher.

Severus sighed. "Well, I'll go check it out. I need you to stay here, though I'm sure you'll have no problem with that," and with a pop he was gone. Stupid old git anyway.

"No, no. No trouble with that sir!" Harry stated to the empty air, cheeks still red.

"Oh? For once you're not going to break the rules. It's the apocalypse! Everyone run!" Sirius said with a mock scared shitless look.

"That's not funny, I never thought I'd see the day Vernon picked up a wand. Much less use it too, since...Anyways. Where were we?" he asked innocently.

"We were..."

"Bath!" Got it! K, be out in awhile lover!" Harry said enthusiastically. Sirius sighed. Oh well. Maybe tomorrow.

XXXXX Three months later XXXXX

"Severus, why don't you just tell him already? Sirius and I know first hand he'd prefer you over us!" Remus Lupin stated while the two sat at a table with abandoned tea in front of them.

"No. It is not appropriate for the HEADMASTER of a school to court a student. The ministry might not like that idea too much," Severus replied.

"It's not against policy!"

"But it is frowned upon. If I did that then I might lose my job on another charge. A false charge. So he'll just have to wait, won't he?" Severus sighed.

"I guess..."

XXXXX Two Days into Christmas Break XXXXX

"Headmaster?"

"Mr. Potter, what a nice surprise, how may I help you?" Severus answered.

:God damn it. Here I am in my boxers and my obsession walks in unawares…Just my luck:

"Well Sir… I was wondering if you and I could spend a little more time together this break. I was hoping we could work on some potions together. You see, I am interested in that particular field and I believe it would be a good idea to learn a few tricks from a Potions Master…Sir," Harry said, looking at everything but the Headmaster.

"Oh, you do, do you? Fine. Head to the dungeons tomorrow at noon… I'll be waiting," Severus replied. Harry nodded quickly and jumped out of his seat…A little too quickly, for during his quest to get out of the office ASAP he _accidentally_ looked behind the Headmaster's desk…To see a very good angle of Severus! He was wearing black boxers with red hearts on them.

:How cuuute…wait…he's in his…OH SHIT DAMN IT: oh well, cold shower for him tonight…

XXXXX The next day XXXX

"Sir?" Harry called.

"I am here, in my old study Potter," Severus snapped. IT had not been a pleasant morning for the lonely Headmaster.

:How did Albus live like this for so long…Unless….NO! Not Minerva! Naaaw, not possible…:

"Sir? Are you alright?"

"Fine MR. Potter, please sit and we shall begin."

XXXXX A few hours later XXXXX

Things had been heating up between the two, with five cauldrons going and all.

Well, partly at least.

Severus was currently leaning over Harry, "accidentally" exciting the teen.

"And then we add one ounce of powered octopus brain," Severus' voice had turned slow and sexy over the last thirty minutes. Like he was trying to seduce Harry or something. Yeah. Sure.

"And then we?" Harry asked, in a similar voice. Was that flirting!

"And then we take the…the…Oh fuck it," and with that, Severus leaned over and captured Harry's lips with his own.

"Mmmph," was Harry's reply. After a few moments Severus snapped back to reality.

"Mr. Potter! I am sorry, please forgive my rashness!" and Severus ran from the room, not stopping until he reached his office.

"Wait!" Harry called hoarsely, though it came out no more than a whisper, and Severus was already gone by then. Oh well, another cold shower I see.

XXXXX Near End of School Term XXXXX

"Don't forget, next week is your N.E.W.T.S seventh years," Severus Snape announced at the end of the Great Hall. (a/n NEWTS are in the SEVENTH year! Not the sixth...Not sure what's in the sixth...) Murmuring from the crowd signaled that they already knew, they'd heard last night, and the night before, and the night before, and the night before...

XXXXX Graduation XXXXX

"... year's valedictorian's are Harry J. Potter, and Hermione A. Granger!" Severus shouted over the voices of the crowd. It was a new school policy to do a big graduation ceremony along with Valedictorians. It was a good idea in Severus' opinion.

XXXXX An hour or so later XXXXX

"Severus? ...May I call you Severus now?"

"Of course Mr. Potter," Severus replied.

"Well, if I call you Severus than it is only right that you call me Harry," Harry said with a smile. Severus smiled back.

"That is not necessary Mr. Potter."

"Well, I...Umm, that is to say..."

"Yes Mr. Potter?" Severus said with his head cocked curiously.

"I...wanted to say... that I... Umm, Wanted to say goodbye sir!" Harry said with a small salute and ran from the room. No, he wasn't going to make the first move. Not yet at least.

XXXXX Two years later XXXXX

"...AND HE HAS THE SNITCH! ANOTHER VICTORY FOR LONDON!" the newest announcer Lee Jordan's voice boomed out over the stadium.

The London team yelled out in triumph, pumping fists into the air, fans stood up and applauded Hotter Potter for yet another victory.

Harry leapt from his broom three feet from the ground, right into Remus Lupin's arms. Remus smiled and kissed his young lovers forehead. Then proceeded to yell with the rest of the crowd.

Sirius came running over and swept the seeker in his arms. A little weird in public, but alright...

The team ran over and patted Harry on the back as Oliver Wood and Marcus Flint took Harry onto his shoulders, Harry smiled at each member of the team in turn, then looked up. In the back of the hallway they were currently in, a middle aged man wearing nothing but black nodded his head in acknowledgement, then smiled. A second later, he was gone.

Life was good...

...Or so most believed.

XXXXX Seven years later XXXXX

"Headmaster?" the twenty-eight year old Harry "Hotter" Potter said hesitantly as he walked into the Three Broomsticks.

"Ah, Harry. Wonderful, I was hoping you could join me!" Severus Snape exclaimed. Eleven years as headmaster had completely changed his attitude. Though, from time to time, he did still have that dark sense of humor going on.

"What's this all about Severus?" Harry asked, narrowing his eyes.

"I have a proposition for you Mr. Potter," Severus said with a warm smile. Defiantly not the same man that taught the young seeker potions.

XXXXX Three years later XXXXX

Ten years. Ten years Professor Harry Potter had waited for Severus Snape to make the first move, and frankly, he was tied of waiting. So, tonight was the night. Tonight after his final Potions class, he was going to break the very thick ice. I mean, he'd defeated the Dark Lord when he was twenty, how hard can this be?

XXXXX Headmaster's office XXXXX

"Is there a problem Professor Potter?" Severus Snape asked the now thirty year old man.

"Yes headmaster, there is a problem. I love you. I have for ten years now and I am tired of waiting for you!" Harry all but yelled.

"Professor, please! Contain yourself. I am fifty-one years old. You should try to find someone your own age!" Severus Snape replied.

"But, I..."

"No buts Professor. Go, be young!" and Severus whisked Harry out of the room.

XXXXX Six years later XXXXX

"I now pronounce you man and husband. You may kiss the groom," the ministry official pronounced. Harry leaned over and captured his partner's lips in his own. His partner smiled. The two marched down the isle to jump on the Hippogriff that was waiting to take the two to the reception. Odd transportation yes, but according to Sirius, that was how Lily and James had done it.

XXXXX One year later XXXXX

"Push Mr. Potter. Easy does it. Now, now. Almost there!" the mediwitch exclaimed. How she hated male pregnancy's. They were so hard to deliver! Harry said nothing. He knew pain, it was like an old friend to him. Naw, this wasn't bad. Like that one time he fell from his broom in second year, and the idiot Lockheart tried to fix my arm...Idiot.

Suddenly, there was a baby crying. Harry opened his eyes…

...to find a pair of green eyes looking right back at him! The baby immediately stopped crying and looked at him with her scrunched up face.

Her?

Sooooo beautiful.

And Harry Potter knew no more.

"Great job love," Harry's husband, and maker of the potion that allowed the pregnancy to be possible, whispered affectionately.

XXXXX Twelve years later XXXXX

Two gravestone stood at the top of a hill; two lonely stones that stood over a whole valley of stone, like an idol, or a guardian.

Guardian, that was a good name for it.

The first read: 'Here lies Albus W. Dumbledore, Hogwarts Headmaster 1919-2020: Lost, but Loved' and right next to it: 'Here lies Severus Snape, Hogwarts Headmaster 1963-2035: War Hero, we'll always love you Sev.'

"Daddy, why are we here? What's Papa looking at? Huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh?" the over excited Iris-Lynn Potter asked her father.

"That is a gravestone. Your Papa fell in love with the man the stone announces," her father replied.

"What happened? If he loved him, then?" little Iris-Lynn asked with wide eyes. No one had informed her that Papa was allowed to love anyone before Daddy! How absurd!

"The man refused him. He married me. Let's worry about it later sweetie. Severus passed away not three months ago. Leave your father and his open wounds alone, okay?" he asked with a concerned look towards his husband Harry.

"Okay Daddy. Wait Severus? As in Headmaster Severus?"

"Yes sweetie."

"Oh..."

"Let's go you guys," Harry called as he approached the two, oblivious to the conversation that had happened minutes before.

"K!"

"Are you okay, love?" the man whispered in Harry's ear.

"I will be. Nothing more than a broken heart is all..." Harry replied in a whisper.

"DADDY! LOOK!" Iris yelled as she climbed up a tree and smiled down at the couple.

"She got that from you, Potter," the man said with a mock glare.

"I would assume so, love" said Harry with a small smile. He took his husband, Draco Malfoy's hand and they continued down to their car with a huffing twelve-year old trying to catch up to them.

"DADDY! PAPA!" she screamed when they didn't slow down. Ah yes, the joys of being a parent.

XXXXX_A/n Well, my first fic on THIS account, stupid problems with my last, ummm, I made SOOO MANY MISTAKES THE FIRST TIME I WROTE THIS! I went through with my spell check and went O.O _

_Anyways, I hope you liked it! Just a little "foreplay" so to speak till summer when I re-start Harry and Rebecca Potter: Year One. I have like six chapters done, but I hate not updating! So, I'll wait till it's almost done before I post any of it._

_THIS_


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